Mila Fairfax
Articulating Identity
I shepherd people through an identity crisis.
I use traditional public relations and coaching techniques
— as well as a few unorthodox ones —
to articulate identity.
As a public relations practitioner of over 30 years, half of that in private practice, I shepherd people through identity changes.
I work with individuals who are coming through a significant reinvention of their personal narrative and reputation.
Sometimes an abrupt incident causes big changes: sometimes we just realize we’ve outgrown our old sense of identity. Either way, it becomes apparent that there is just no way back to how things were before. Like a supportive guide, I apply my experience to assist individuals as they navigate through “life-quakes” to rebuild anew.
We sort through the mixed feelings, contradictory thoughts, and old beliefs that are swirling.
We map out the situation together, including who else is involved and how.
We root out unchallenged assumptions, contingencies, and pre-existing “shared agreements,” even when they were never shared nor agreed.
We reground in which aspects and characteristics are still true and which are ripe to let go through attrition. We examine what has been outgrown and what remains steady.
We work on renegotiating new conditions and agreements with ourselves and with others.
Eventually, we reestablish fresh Missions toward a Vision, on Purpose.
Mila Fairfax
Obsessed with identity — personal identity; identity construction; identity crises; outgrowing old identities; evolving into new identities; all of it
30+ years public relations experience across corporate, start-up, non-profit, government, and private practice environments
Consistently covered with dog hair
Accumulating joy through the art of mundane choices
I used to wear corporate combat boots on public relations teams, cleaning up the story around mergers and misbehavior. Then I strapped on real boots to help with media relations during disaster relief efforts for several years. When the time came to hang up my boots, I realized I had become pretty good at fashioning messy raw materials into cohesive narratives. So, that’s what I do now —
I use public relations and coaching techniques to help people craft their own story and regenerate their reputation more effectively.
A plot, a theme, a leading protagonist in a suitable setting for a hero’s journey. A little personal brand development, some strategic positioning and key messages, maybe a theme song. For the ambitious: personal public relations, some media training practice to hone voice. Maybe even a little costume and set design — boots entirely optional.
How we work together . . .
“Power made me a coat.
For a long time I kept it in the back of my closet. I didn’t like to wear it much but I took good care of it.
When I first started wearing it again, it smelled like mothballs. As I wore it more, it started fitting better, and stopped smelling like mothballs. I was afraid if I wore the coat too much someone would want to take it or else I would accidentally leave it in the dojo dressing room. But it has my name on the label now, and it doesn’t really fit anyone else.
When people ask me where I found such a becoming garment, I tell them about the tailor who knows how to make coats that you grow into.
First, you have to find the courage to approach her and ask her to make your coat.
Then you must find the patience inside yourself to wear the coat until it fits.”