Mila Fairfax

Articulate Your Identity

I shepherd people through

tricky interpersonal situations.

As a public relations counselor of over 30 years, half of that in private practice, and narrative coach, I shepherd people through tricky interpersonal situations. We work on balancing personal identity with public reputation in transitions. 

Find Your Way, Find Your Words. Articulate Your Identity.

—Stabilize — getting you co-regulated and breathing normally so you get your head on straight when it all feels overwhelming

—Sort out — sifting through the (dis)array of moving parts and contingencies in your situation to get your bearings on where and who you are now

—Find your way — helping you think through your priorities, objectives, options, trade-offs, and plan of approach

—Find your words — working through how to have those conversations that will be necessary to renegotiate things with the people in your life

I work in spaces that are a bit “too much” for the usual coach — like too weird, too intense, too embarrassing, too complicated. And just on the outskirts of what your other advisors address. They are doing their thing and they want to help and all, but this part is slightly left of their wheelhouse.

I work in situations where whatever happened is making you question who you are now. This is not just a problem to be fixed, but it is turning into an identity transition. You are coming through a significant reinvention of your personal narrative and your reputation needs to keep up.

I work with you on figuring out how you choose to get up and go walk —and talk— your way through this.

Mila Fairfax

  • Obsessed with identity — personal identity; identity construction; identity crises; outgrowing old identities; evolving into new identities; all of it

  • Advocate for finding and restoring lost voices

  • 30+ years public relations experience across corporate, start-up, non-profit, government, and private practice environments

  • Consistently covered with dog hair

  • Accumulating joy through the art of mundane choices

I used to wear corporate combat boots on public relations teams, cleaning up the story around mergers and misbehavior. Then I strapped on real boots to help with media relations during disaster relief efforts for several years. When the time came to hang up my boots, I realized I had become pretty good at fashioning messy raw materials into cohesive narratives. So, that’s what I do now —

I use public relations and coaching techniques to help people craft their own story and regenerate their reputation more effectively.

A plot, a theme, a leading protagonist in a suitable setting for a hero’s journey. A little personal brand development, some strategic positioning and key messages, maybe a theme song. For the ambitious: personal public relations, some media training practice to hone voice. Maybe even a little costume and set design — boots entirely optional.

“Power made me a coat. 

For a long time I kept it in the back of my closet.  I didn’t like to wear it much but I took good care of it. 

When I first started wearing it again, it smelled like mothballs.  As I wore it more, it started fitting better, and stopped smelling like mothballs.  I was afraid if I wore the coat too much someone would want to take it or else I would accidentally leave it in the dojo dressing room.  But it has my name on the label now, and it doesn’t really fit anyone else. 

When people ask me where I found such a becoming garment, I tell them about the tailor who knows how to make coats that you grow into. 

First, you have to find the courage to approach her and ask her to make your coat. 

Then you must find the patience inside yourself to wear the coat until it fits.”